Married Life - 15 Steps On How To Overcome The Storm Of Life In Marriage

By Ngozi Nwoke

Storm of life is real in married life. There is no successful marriage without a story of overcome challenges. The main issue is how to overcome these challenges of life. This article tells how to deal with these storms of life in marital life.

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it - 1 Corinthians 10:13 (KJV)

These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world - John 16:33 (KJV)

Every marriage has its peculiar storm of life, which is obvious or hidden to the public, yet a torment to the victims of it. This includes infertility or financial hardship, disabled or sickly children or spouse, infidelity, extended family disputes, immaturity or irresponsibility, etc. Whatever is the case, there is a solution to it. Surely, you can overcome that challenge in your marriage!

How to overcome the storms of life in your married life

1. Acknowledge that challenges of life are real in marital life

Your knowledge of this truth will prepare you mentally, spiritually and even bodily. It will determine your thoughts, words and actions. Being ignorant of the high probability of these challenges is to prepare for a possible total breakdown in your marriage.

2. Fortify yourselves with the word of God

The scriptures within you will build a hedge of protection around you and your marriage, preventing some attacks from the enemy. Also, the word of the Lord will fortify you wholly, preparing you against any knock out from the storms of life. Remember, if you faint in the days of adversity in your married life, it means your strength is small.

3. Acknowledge that storm of life is common to man

This is a vital step to overcome marital life challenges. What is common was defeated many times and will be defeated again many more times. Your case is not different. But when you see it as being peculiar only to you, then you will make a mountain out of an ant hill of a challenge. On the other hand, seeing it as being common energizes you to overcome like others before you.

4. Blame no one

Looking for whom to blame will not solve that issue; instead it will further compound it. The attitude of blaming you or your spouse gives birth to anger, hatred, depression, un-forgiveness, untrained children etc., and eventually separation or divorce. No matter how much your flesh desires to blame someone for the storm of life, don't give in to it.

5. Meditate consistently on scriptures related to the challenge

Meditation keeps the word of God before you and equips you with the weapon of warfare with which to fight every doubt or fear. Consistent meditation keeps you permanently above that storm till it ceases.

6. Declare the scriptures to one another and pray them

Faith comes by hearing the word of God. So, the more both of you hear it, the more your faith gets built up and your individual strength gets renewed. When one is growing weak and desires to give up, the other will uphold him. Also pray the scriptures because God only listens for His word. We are to put Him in remembrance of His word when we pray.

7. Declare the scriptures to that challenge and every wind of doubt

You will always have what you say. The storms of life and doubt have ears and will only disappear when you command them to do so according to the word of God. It is also a proof of your faith in God and His word.

8. Refuse to listen to any comment contrary to God's word.

The enemy will test the strength of the word of the Lord within you through people; even people with good intentions will be used. Your response to their comments will determine the intensity and duration of the storm. Also, the enemy will try to steal the word in you because it is a weapon that will destroy his power over you and give you victory.

9. Call yourselves names that emphasize the victory you would want to see

God changed Abram's name to Abraham to reflect His plan to make him father of many nation. Also Jacob's name was changed to Israel to reflect his new status with God. You have to call those things that be not as though they were for them to be. For example if the issue is barrenness, call one another daddy and mummy.

10. Listen for God's direction on what next to do

The Alpha and Omega knows the end from the beginning; he sees beyond what your eyes can see and has the solution to those challenges of life. Therefore, seek God's face for the appropriate steps to take.

11. Read books and listen to CDs related to the solution you desire.

Some people have gone through that storm of life in their marital life and prevailed. Discover what they did to overcome through their stories. You gain speed and time by riding on the victories of others.

12. Go for godly counsel and help, if or when necessary.

In the multitude of counsel, there is safety. As you are led by God go for counsel or help, and that may include medical help.

13. Support one another

Two surely are better than one. You need to strongly support one another spiritually, mentally, emotionally and otherwise during this storm of life in your married life. It is not a time for both of you to go your separate ways but a time to draw closer to one another. The enemy can never succeed where there is strong unity, no matter how long he presses; surely he will give up.

14. Remain patient, hold on and refuse to quit

Truly, it may take a while but your victory is sure if you faint not. Put in mind that your victory today is another couple's victory tomorrow. It is not all about you!

15. Give thanks to God for answered prayers yet to be manifested.

You are to believe that you have received the answers when you pray. Thanksgiving unto God before you see your desired outcome is a catalyst for answered prayers. It is also a proof of your faith in God and His word. Thanksgiving puts the enemy to flight and the Lord to action.

Like every storm, this storm of life will pass too. Night may endure for a season but morning will surely come, bringing with it overflowing joy.

Ngozi Nwoke is a teacher and a counselor. She has a passion to teach people how to enjoy peace, God's love and christian living for more fulfilling life. Want more fulfilling life? Subscribe for free email updates today. http://stepswithgod.com

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Why Don't Unhappy Husbands Just Leave Or Divorce Their Wives?

By Leslie Cane

I sometimes hear from wives who are beyond frustrated that their husband is moping around the house and putting his unhappiness on full display. Often, he seems unwilling to do anything about this and the wives often wonder why he would be willing to be so unhappy rather than attempt to change things or even to get a separation or divorce.

I heard from a wife who said: "a couple of months ago, my husband told me that he was unhappy with me and the marriage. I asked him what he wanted to do about this and his response was 'what is there to do about it?' Last night, I was nosing around on his Facebook account and I saw that he was catching up with an old buddy and saying that marriage sure isn't what he thought and that it's all very disappointing. My question is why doesn't he do something about it? Why doesn't he just divorce me then? Is it because he doesn't want to give me any money in the event of a divorce? I'm losing my patience with a man who won't take responsibility for his own happiness. What can I do?" I'll offer some suggestions in the following article.

The Various And Valid Reasons An Unhappy Man Won't Initially Pursue A Divorce:

There are many reasons that a man will initially stay in a marriage when he's unhappy. Sometimes, he is hoping that things improve. Other times, he doesn't want to bow out too quickly before he has made an attempt to change or to improve things. Still another possibility is that he believes that marriage is forever, even when it is not perfect. And yes, some men will let their wallets make the decisions for them, especially if they fear that divorce is going to be incredibly costly financially.

But regardless of his reasoning, you get to decide how you are going to react to this and where you want to go from here. Because unhappiness can always be changed with the right plan and follow through.

Why It's Better To Focus On Improving Your Marriage So That You Are Both Happier Rather Than Dwelling On Why He Stays:

Believe me when I say that I do understand your confusion and your frustration as to why he's hanging around when he's clearly unhappy. But sometimes, the fact that he hasn't left is more important than why he stays put, especially if you want to save your marriage. If deep down you truly don't want him to leave, then you are better off placing your focus on improving the happiness level in your marriage (for both of you) than spending a lot of time analyzing his behavior, which might not be rational anyway.

Improving your marriage is something over which you have a good deal of control. But, you can't necessarily change his thought process. And debating it or demanding answers isn't likely to help your situation. That's why I advocate controlling what you can. And you can start by taking inventory and figuring out what it would take to make both of you more content in your marriage.

Cultivating Your Own Happiness:

It's common for the sullen and unhappy husband to close down. He often won't talk about why he feels this way or what you could do to improve things for him. You may have to think back to things he has said or done. You may have to rewind your memory to look for clues. Of course, you can always try to ask him what you could do to make him more content with the marriage and you can stress that you can't help him if he won't open up.

I do dialog with a lot of husbands about this topic on my blog. And I can tell you that when they start talking about vague unhappiness, they are often lamenting a lack of excitement, variety, and intimacy in your marriage. Often, they want more of your attention, more of your time, and more of your affection. They want to feel as if they are important enough to you that you will make them a priority. Many feel pressured in their marriages and they don't feel that there is anything positive on the other side in order to balance this out.

So if you have no idea where or how to start, a good place to begin is always going to be trying to cultivate a sense of playfulness and adventure with your spouse. You want to have fun together so that he looks forward to being with you. Ultimately, you want for him to know that you are his safe haven and that his life will be better as soon as he comes home to you.

As you begin this process, you can watch closely for his responses. If he reacts favorably to something, do more of it. If he shows no response, make a note of that and try something else. I know that it may not feel like it, but his not leaving in spite of his unhappiness can actually be a positive thing. Because it gives you time to fix this before he eventually gets so tired of feeling unhappy that he does leave. Not many men are willing to be unhappy for a lifetime so it's important that you do whatever is necessary to make sure that you are both content.

I wish I had listened and then acted when my own husband told me he was unhappy. I just hoped that things would get better. But, of course they never did. And we eventually separated. I had a lot of catching up to do in order to get my husband back home. If it helps, you can read the whole story on my blog at http://isavedmymarriage.com

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The Most Common Mistakes Men Make When Their Wife Is Leaving

By Jacob Elichmann

What do you think is the absolute best thing you can do to get your wife back?

Go ahead, I want you to speculate about how to save your marriage. Take a guess... I'll wait.

Got it? Do you have an answer to the question "What is the best thing I can do to get my wife back?"

Alright, what's your answer? What would your advice be?

What Does This Have to Do With You & Learning How to Save Your Marriage?

Just keep reading, by the end of this article I want you to tell me if your answer has changed.

I may not know you or have every bit of information regarding your history, but I do know that you're a good husband, and so I know that you would do - anything - to save your marriage (including marriage counseling, ugh!).

It's difficult to make the distinction between dignity and the worth of your marriage, and making the separation between unbridled emotion and cool control is certainly no easy task.

Lots of people fail to avoid the same mistakes that you're making with your wife, so it's okay... Don't beat yourself up, just take this as a sign for you to make change.

Even if you're not the beggar type, you're guilty, I'm sure, of something else that's proven to be harmful behavior to the way your wife perceives you.

In this situation, I know that it's hard not to be...

·         Defensive, about whose fault it is

·         Pessimistic, about your chances of reviving your marriage

·         Cynical, about love, life and your happiness

·         Negative, in your attitude and day to day behavior

·         Desperate, when it seems like all hope is lost

·         A Beggar, when you would willingly give up anything to have her back

But this is important: You have to do your best not to be any of those things. The more you grovel... The more you put down yourself, your marriage or your wife... The more you lose hope, confidence and charm... The worse off your marriage becomes.

The key to getting your marriage back on track and renewing the spark that you've lost does NOT lie in logic, rhyme or reason. In this crisis you are facing, you won't be able to convince your wife to stay around with your words or with your actions, it will be with your attitude that she finally comes around.

Now is the time to start the process of attitude adjustment to save a marriage. All problems are solvable; even though it might hurt, this is how you're going to solve this one.

The more you try to communicate with her and "work things out", the more she is going to in turn shut you out and ignore you. The more you continue these harmful behaviors try to break through to her and open a channel of communication with her, the stronger and thicker her iron wall of mental defense will become.

Especially when couples are on the brink of divorce, when you make your wife feel suffocated - Whether it's through groveling, persistence, communication, or just a plain negative attitude - It's like digging yourself deeper into a hole and it's making the light of your marriage further and further away.

Want Your Wife to Crave YOU? Become Like the Lion

Women are biologically programmed to follow strength, success (not necessarily monetary) and leadership, and a negative attitude is not one of the defining qualities of any of those traits. You need to think of yourself like a Lion - A primal depiction of a leader.

Lions don't beg.

Lions don't compromise.

Lions don't grovel, and lions don't try to 'communicate' their problems away.

A Lion will find the problem and they kill it, plain and simple. They're confidant in themselves, and they know that even if things don't go the way they want or intend, that it doesn't really matter.

Because after all, even if you don't get your way, you're still a mother f!&%in' lion and nothing will change that.

If you tap into that the primal attraction that drives the actions of every woman, then saving your marriage and breathing life back into your relationship will be a piece of cake, and on top of that you'll see yourself as the man you're meant to be, and life will treat you better because of it.

How to Save Your Marriage When Reality Strikes

This is what you have to do to create love - You have to make your wife FEEL like she wants to follow you. You have to make her WANT to make love without any persuasion on your part. It sounds hard, but it only requires an adjustment of perception.

If your wife feels like you're the one trying to force her to change her mind then you can bet your bottom dollar she won't be coming back anytime soon. But if you can make her desire you all on her own, then every reason that she has for leaving you will suddenly come into question in her mind.

Here's my last piece of manlymarriage advice - you can use a woman's total lack of logical reasoning to your advantage (no offense, women; guys have their problems, too). By tapping into her primal wants and needs you will reignite the fire that fuels a healthy marriage.

If you want more marriage help and you want to stop the negative patterns that you are either consciously or unconsciously perpetuating, then now is your opportunity to stop those patterns and finally learn how to getyour wife back.

Whatever you do from here, thanks for reading!

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How Can I Show Husband That I've Changed In Order To Save My Marriage

By Leslie Cane

I sometimes hear from wives who feel as if they were forced to change for good after their husband left them. Often, they were fully aware that the only way to have any chance of him coming back was to authentically change in order to remove the obstacles that were standing in the way of a happy marriage.

I heard from a wife who said: "I believe that my husband left me for multiple reasons. But the biggest reason is that he thinks I am too immature. I am a lot younger than him. At first, I don't think that this bothered him at all. However as time went on, he began to believe that we didn't have that much in common because I didn't take life seriously enough. I think he began to see me as a party girl who only thought about having a good time with my friends while he took on all of the responsibilities. As a result, we fought all the time about money and I would poke fun at him for acting like my father. Looking back now, I see that I was totally out of line, but it wasn't obvious to me back then. My husband has been gone for about five weeks. Since that time, I have enrolled in college. I have stopped going out all of the time. I have cut back on silly spending. I realize that for us to have a complete life together, then we both have to contribute equally to that life. I called my husband the other night and told him what I had done and how much I felt that I had changed. I could hear the doubt in his voice and then he quickly changed the subject. Clearly, he doesn't even begin to believe me. Short of bringing the college receipts over to his house, how can I prove to him that I have really and completely changed so that he will want to come back home?"

The wife had made a decent start, but what she didn't realize was that because she had wavered many times before when her husband complained about her behavior, he naturally had his doubts of how genuine the changes were this time. And like many men who have initiated a separation, he was leery of any promises that were meant as a pretty blatant attempt to get him to come home. The fear of course is that once he returns home, the wife will quit college and will go back to her partying ways.

So the wife had to understand that she likely had many doubts to overcome and this was going to take some time. In the meantime though, there was some things that she could do to help her cause. I will share some of them below.

Don't Keep Dwelling On The Changes. Let Them Show Themselves Naturally:

If you bring up the new you every chance you get, your husband is likely to think that you are only putting on a display for his benefit. You run the risk of looking a bit fake. So. know that telling him of what you have done once is enough. If he has questions, he will ask. Resist the urge to keep working your new life into every conversation. He will be much more likely to believe you if he gradually sees the changes for himself.

Make Sure That Any Change You Make Is Something That You Can Maintain:

I don't want to sound insensitive, but I dialog with many husbands in this situation on my blog. Many of them are just waiting for you to show your true colors. In fact, many of them will even test you to see if they can get you to slip up and resort back to your old ways. (And if you do, you are going to have a very hard time getting him to believe you again.) So you need to make absolutely sure that any change you attempt is going to be something that you can maintain even under pressure and even under temptation. If this wife was going to claim that she would stop partying and head to college, then she needed to make absolutely sure that she was willing to do just that for a life time. Because if the husband was so upset about her lifestyle that he was willing to leave her, then he wasn't going to suddenly find her lifestyle acceptable when she resorted back to it later.

Have Confidence And Give Off The Impression That You Don't Need To Prove Anything:

Often, when you become frustrated and want to "prove" something, your tone or the air that you give off almost has a sense of desperation to it and this makes people suspicious of your motives and your sincerity. You are much better off displaying confidence. You want to state your case and then give off the impression that he is going to believe you over time because he will see for himself. There is no need to prove anything or to "make" him believe you. Because after he sees you doing exactly what you say, then he will no longer be able to deny it.

Whether this will be enough to lure him back home isn't for me to determine, but it is most certainly a good start. Any time you can remove an obstacle that is so important to your spouse that it is standing in your way of remaining married, then it is worth doing.

I definitely had to show my husband sincere,lasting change in order for him to come home during our separation.  At first, he didn't believe me but I just kept acting authentically and I waited him out. Eventually, we reconciled and we are still very happily married today.  You're welcome to read the whole story my blog at http://isavedmymarriage.com

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How Can I Be a Good Husband?

By Benjamin Saxton

If you find yourself asking "How can I be a good husband?" then that means that you are well on your way to becoming one. Just asking yourself this question means that you already have the most important quality of a husband - love for your wife. After all, why ask that question if you don't care what your partner thinks of you?

To answer the question however, can be easier said then done. So, here are some tips on how to be a good husband.

Stay Affectionate

Be the same sweet and caring guy that you were before the marriage. It may not look like it, but wives appreciate certain affection from their husbands no matter how small it is. Perhaps bring her some roses at the end of the day or take her out to dinner in a romantic setting. It doesn't have to be extravagant. As long as the gesture shows affection, your partner will be happy for it and reward you with the same feelings.

Listen to Her

Like it or not, women have periods of being emotional. It's a part of their nature, and as a good husband, it is your role to listen and pat her on the back when she's having problems. Know when to criticize and when to be a silent sounding board for her problems.

Leave Something for Yourself

Being a good husband doesn't mean you always have to answer to her needs. Remember that marriage is a partnership, so sometimes your wife should be the one giving way instead of the other way around. To do this, don't be afraid to talk to her about your own problems and insecurities. Open up and a good wife will give you the same support and love you have shown her.

Let It Go

Don't hold on to the little stuff. Everyone has bad habits and chances are you have some that she doesn't like. If it's inconsequential, then simply let it be. Only bring it up if the problem becomes too repetitious to ignore. However, give this observation in a non-confrontational manner.

Respect the Vows

Husbands are supposed to love, protect and remain faithful to their wives so follow through with that. Physical aggression is never the answer and cheating can be disastrous to any relationship. Never talk about your wife behind her back, even to trusted friends. If you have a problem, tell her about it first. Imagine how your wife will feel if she finds out from a third party about complaints you have in the relationship.

Maintain Physical Intimacy

Physical intimacy is a crucial part of any marriage so make sure to keep the fire burning in the bedroom.

Of course, those aren't the only tips on how to become a good husband. When it comes right down to it though, being a good husband means being able to communicate thoroughly with your wife. Telling her how you feel - and being receptive of what she feels - will make it easier for the two of you as a couple to adjust and compromise. Remember that there are no perfect relationships, but with cooperation from both parties, staying happily married is perfectly possible. Most importantly - love your wife. If you love her, being a good husband will naturally follow.

About the author:

Benjamin Saxton is the Owner of MarriageCommunicationSkills.com and Creator of "The Accidental Adventure" - a 5 Step Program for building peaceful and reliable communication in marriage. As a gift, he has created a free 3 part video series for couples entitled "How to Eliminate Your Stressful Arguments Forever." Access your free copy at http://www.marriagecommunicationskills.com/videos/index2.html

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Two Dozen Tips For Husbands

By Helga L Van Niekerk

Before I begin, let me first say that no human being can fully meet the needs of another. While there is sin on the earth, we generally are self-seeking beings who put ourselves first! We tend to be selfish and not sacrificial. We expect others to meet our needs instead of striving to meet theirs. So although husbands will do well to take note of this list, women need to know that to find fulfillment in life is going to come only when we fill the God-shaped hole each of us has (both men and women). Only then will be truly happy and find contentment we are looking for.

This list is most probably not complete, but it's a start. I'll also be working on one for wives.

Let me do this in alphabetical order:

1. AFFIRMATION! Whether aged 1 or 100, women need to be affirmed. She needs to be told she is beautiful, clever, talented, helpful. Tell her she's wonderful. Tell her she's the best thing that happened to you. Tell your children, their Mom is a star. Affirmation every day, once at least, several times is better! The older she gets, it does not matter. Don't think she doesn't need it if she's 70 or 80. She does!

2. APPRECIATION! Women need to be thanked. She has borne your children, cleaned your clothes, did the cooking, the cleaning, the fetching the carrying. She needs to be appreciated for what she is doing for the home. Don't overlook it. Start saying thank-you. It may be that she is not doing the housework, but out earning. If that is the case, she needs to be appreciated for contributing to the economy of the home. Say thank-you OFTEN.

3. BE THERE! When general life happens, BE THERE. Be close to your wife to support her, hold her, dry her tears, comfort her, take control, give advice. Be there to tell her everything is going to be alright. Be there to defend her,stand up for her, watch her back, accept her, she needs you. Be there for the family. Love and support the children.

4. COMMITMENT - Wives need to hear that you are in this for the long run. Tell her often why you married her and that you are committed to this marriage.

5. DIVORCE - Wives need to hear that divorce is not an option.

6. EMOTIONAL NEEDS - This is a HUGE one. Women are emotional & hormonal. Wives need their husband's unconditional acceptance and support when they have a melt-down, seemingly for no reason. Guys, you may not understand a flood of tears, an unreasonable outburst or a snappy retort, just know they are hormonal and give them some understanding and acceptance in return. "It's all going to be all right," is often all they need to hear. Emotional support is massive for a wife to be happy.

7. FRIENDS - Women want her husband & her to be best friends. She also wants support in being friends with other girls. She doesn't want to be caged in and forbidden from mixing with her girl friends.

8. GENTLENESS - Wives want to be treated with gentleness and consideration. Shouting, scorning, criticism, belittling, treating roughly is not going to work to get them to treat you with respect.

9. HELP - There were several comments from women who are keen for and very appreciative of their husband's help around the house. The division of labour is always going to be an issue in the home that needs negotiation. Women need help for to meet both their physical and emotional needs. The best kind of help is that which is offered. Wives don't like continually asking to have something done before you actually do it. Look for what needs to be done and do it. It will make all the difference to your marriage.

10. INTEGRITY - Wives admire a husband who has a high degree of integrity. This includes avoiding the appearance of evil. Do not turn to a woman not your wife for anything that may even look like you are doing things together, e.g. a meal, a game of squash, a jog, a discussion about your wife, a business deal.

11.JESUS CHRIST - Christian wives want their husbands to put Christ first. To follow after Him. To seek His advice. To run to Christ for answers. To follow God's design for marriage.

12. KINDNESS - Small acts of kindness; kind words,making tea, offering to collect the children, makes a wife feel loved.

13. LOVE - Unconditional, ongoing, the way Christ loves the church. Love your wife. Love your children. Love your wife's family.

14. LEADERSHIP - Christian women want the husband to take the lead spiritually.

15. LISTEN - Oh my word! I had a number of women say they want their husband's attention! They want their full attention when discussing something. They don't want to be competing with TV, cell phones or computers. They want them to stop what they are doing and listen to what their wives are saying. Wives want to be heard. Women like to talk. They also want to know what you think. Listen to them and speak to them about what is going on in your life. They want to know. They want to listen to you too. Communicate to them about what is going on in you life and how you are feeling.

16. MONEY - Men generally are the providers, but it is certainly not uncommon to find women taking control of the home's finances. Women want a man who is able to provide for the family financially.

17. NON-SEXUAL PHYSICAL TOUCH - Generally women don't need as much sex as men. But they do appreciate being touched without any sexual intent. Hugs, kisses, arm around the shoulder, holding hands, just letting them know you are there and like being near them - your wife will LOVE it!

18. ROMANCE - Husbands, YOU HAVE TO LEARN THIS!! Wives of 1 day, wives of 10 years, wives of 70 years love romance. They are wired for it! If you want a happy wife, tap into your romantic side. Do something romantic - sunset picnic, red roses, a chocolate heart, a chick flick out of the video store, anything that will remind her of your love for her. Get this right and you will flourish in the next point...

19. SEX - Wives understand that men need sex, but as their hormones change and their sexual desire lessens, don't expect them to be needing sex as much as you do!

20. SUPPORT - A happy wife is one who will have her husband's support in the ventures she tackles in life. This could be a joint venture, like child-bearing, or a work venture - where she goes back to work or starts selling Tupperware or takes in extra children to make more money. Be supportive and lower your expectations in regard to her availability during the adjustment phase.

21. THOUGHTFULNESS - Many women love surprises and when a husband surprises his wife, she knows she has been thought about during the day. An unexpected gift at an unexpected time goes a long way to keeping a wife happy. A phone call in the middle of the day. Making a cup of tea, asking if you can help them with anything - you'll have a happy wife! Don't ever forget birthdays, Valentine's Day, Mother's Day and OF COURSE, your anniversary. Make a fuss. Women love that.

22. TIME - Work is important and wives get that, but they want to know that their husband have made them a priority. Quality time for just the two of you, at the husband's suggestion will really make a wife feel special.

23. TRUST - Wives need to know they can trust their husbands - that unfaithfulness is not an option. A happy wife will trust her husband, knowing that he is telling the truth and is honest. Be dependable. If you say you are going to do something, do it! Honesty in everything. Keep a clean conscience before God and your wife.

24. UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE - Wives want their husbands to accept them as they are and not try and make them into the person they think they should become. There is only one person you can control in a relationship and that's yourself.

Helga has been married to Mike for 26 years. She describes herself as not just happily married, but head-over-heels, doing-double-back-flips kind of happily married. They have two grown children and a much appreciated son-in-law. Mike & Helga make their home in Cape Town, South Africa. Helga works as the morning drive show presenter for a Cape Town based community radio station. She writes a daily bloghttp://www.helgavan.com

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